You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
We have so much sex to catch up on
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office