Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.