it hurts more in the daytime
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.