You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here