he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize