So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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