I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
