I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We got so high we made milksteak
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...