You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life