Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?