He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?