So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
