this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
