I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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