My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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