was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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