Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"

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(916): View more from California

It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.

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(707): View more from California

She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.

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(574): View more from Indiana

i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it

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(443): View more from Maryland

Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb

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