If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
