i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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