Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.