I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just tell him i said nine months
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
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They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink