I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful