Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Anal astronaut?

(847): View more from Illinois

Wow word travels fast.

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(732): Anal astronaut? (847): Wow word travels fast. http://tfl.nu/to7g

Replies (2) Good night (2615) Bad night (895)
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(443): View more from Maryland

apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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(443): apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar. http://tfl.nu/z209

Replies (9) Good night (3015) Bad night (1000)
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(917): View more from New York City

Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.

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(917): Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college. http://tfl.nu/0xig

Replies (24) Good night (923) Bad night (3316)
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(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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(217): It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol. http://tfl.nu/d6go

Replies (3) Good night (3316) Bad night (1138)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

(901): View more from Tennessee

BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that

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(662): Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names. (901): BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that http://tfl.nu/oy20

Replies (26) Good night (2009) Bad night (4295)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.

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(704): Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people. http://tfl.nu/g4iv

Replies (6) Good night (3758) Bad night (917)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed

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(571): I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed http://tfl.nu/piiv

Replies (25) Good night (5154) Bad night (1474)
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(905): View more from Ontario

was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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(905): was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree? http://tfl.nu/357c

Replies (6) Good night (2084) Bad night (941)
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(845): View more from New York

you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away

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(845): you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away http://tfl.nu/uj7c

Replies (3) Good night (2867) Bad night (925)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.

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(503): Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack. http://tfl.nu/t9kk

Replies (3) Good night (2958) Bad night (699)
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(906): View more from Michigan

A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.

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(906): A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious. http://tfl.nu/r6bp

Replies (4) Good night (1086) Bad night (384)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up

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(202): you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up http://tfl.nu/s6ka

Replies (4) Good night (1303) Bad night (421)
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(678): View more from Georgia

He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.

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(678): He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober. http://tfl.nu/jf9n

Replies (0) Good night (787) Bad night (283)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.

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(440): I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over. http://tfl.nu/4owi

Replies (5) Good night (708) Bad night (275)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit

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(570): He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit http://tfl.nu/6cf1

Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (313)

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