Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i think i just lost a toe
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
