so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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