Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
