what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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