Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
