I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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