but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
