She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think I died a long time ago.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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