thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
