When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
