i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He better not be in your backpack
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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