I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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