I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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