2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
