I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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