no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
