i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
