how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
FUCK WHALES
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