shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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