you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
