I CAN MOONWALK!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
