"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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