No stitches, just platelets and will power
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
