Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
