So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
