More tranny stories later!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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