i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
