Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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