well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
