Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize