Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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