I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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