He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
