I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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