You're completely useless in the revolution.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
