oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
