There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
