I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
