Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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