last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
