just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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