Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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