I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was confusing and full of hummus
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
