How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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