I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
