I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
