I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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