I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
