So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
